Beer vs. Toooot

speaking of beer, here is an email that one of my more sexist friend sent me.

disclaimer: i neither support, vouch, agree with, disagree with, condone, criticize, appluad, nor belittle the contents of the following message. in the same manner, i neither support, vouch, agree with, disagree with, condone, criticize, appluad, nor belittle the author of the said message. the message contain views that may upset and offend. reader discretion is advised.

BEER vs. VAGINA

1. Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER
2. Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA
3. A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER
4. If after taking a swig of your favorite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA
5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad, make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.
Call it a DRAW for the time being.
6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA
7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any p***y in public, you become a legend.
One pointto VAGINA
8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA
9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER
10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen God.
One point to VAGINA
11. Ripping a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun!
One point to VAGINA
12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA
13. If you have another beer, the first one never gets pissed off.
One point to BEER
14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER
15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER
16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager, strong, light etc.
One point to BEER
17. You always know how much beer is going to cost.
One point to BEER
18. Beer doesn't have a mother.
One point to BEER
19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drunk it.
One point to BEER

FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them. Therefore, an extra point for
BEER!!!!!!!!!!! yeba!!!
Chocolate vs. Sex
(1) You can GET chocolate.
(2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
(3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
(4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
(5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
(6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
(7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
( Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
(9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
(10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
(11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
(12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
(13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
(14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
(15) You can have chocolate at anytime of the month.
(16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
(17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
(18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
(19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
(20) With chocolate size doesn't matter